Why I don’t want to let go of being “a child”
No no, this isn’t me going through a quarter life crisis, okay….. maybe it is xD
I have always been the “child” at my home, simply cause I have been the youngest one in the family for around 20 years, until the moment my nephew was born this year, taking the spot away from me.
I think being the child of the home has affected me in ways that play out in interesting quirks in the real world, and I now kind of like playing the child in my other social groups in my college as well, although it is becoming harder and harder to maintain that image as I grow over the years, and people start expecting me to mature a bit, and take responsibility about my decisions, and even manage people lol. But honestly speaking, I feel that I don’t want to change the child-like personality into a mature one and thinking about that led into the birth of this post.
Why do we stop smiling as we grow up? Smiling about random incidents cooked in our mind, smiling to random strangers, to ourselves? Why do people expect us to let go of that wonderful naivety of the child, looking at the world through his rose colored glasses? I can’t stop smiling all the time, and really I smile for no reason at times, and find it super hard to control, even in serious situations ( which sometimes leads to tricky situations, like in a classroom….you can imagine 😛). Having a smile can diffuse the most tense of situations, and can in general do wonders in your life, so smile people, smile like a child ! I don’t want to ever grow up enough to stop smiling all the time, just the thought of such a future feels inexplicably dark and mundane.
Why do we have to stop trusting people naively? Call me a child, but I believe people are generally good and worthy of trust and good people are the rule, not the exception ( I am reading some Jordan Peterson on the side right now, and he’ll disagree a lot with this lol, but fuck it, I am naive ). I don’t want to lose the childish innocence of trusting people, because it has lead me to make blind leaps of faith in other people, and mostly people don’t disappoint really, they return your trust, sometimes, amplified. Now I do know that this is not always the case, and I shouldn’t trust random strangers all too easily ( like random people you meet on a trip? ), you could end up in serious trouble someday, but do I really want to stop trusting people because someone someday might break it? Doesn’t that seem a bit too harsh on people? I don’t want to grow up enough to not be able to trust people anymore.
Why do I have to grow up enough to be self-reliant, and not depend on others for help? Like really, is the world sooooooo easy that we can pretend that its possible to survive it on our own? Now I am not saying that we shouldn’t aim to grow, we should always try to become better than our past, what I am getting at is that I don’t want to grow enough that I stop asking people for help. Children don’t hesitate at all to ask for help from their peers and adults alike, it’s the only way they could survive really, since they don’t know much about really anything. But I don’t want to grow up enough to start believing that I know enough to be on my own from now on….I will always require people to help me figure my way through life out, and isn’t that how we make friends as well, by helping each other out?
I also don’t want to grow up enough to stop being curious about the world, and stop seeing the wonder there is in all the things. Children see the world with a view of wonder, and are infinitely curious about things, because they don’t have a preimage of how the world should be, why do we have to stop being that way? Why do we have to grow into adults who have just accepted the fact that things are the way they are just because they are supposed to be that way? In the world of children, anything is possible, and maybe a child-like fresh view of the world might exactly be the thing we need to solve the most challenging problems that lie ahead of humanity, but maybe we are too busy growing up to see that.
Why do we suddenly need to have expectations from ourselves as we grow up? No one really expects anything from a child, and that is liberating in a sense, isn’t it? You’re free to do whatever you want and you do things cause you want to do them, not cause someone else expects you to do it. I don’t want to grow up enough to succumb into other people’s expectation of me, instead I want to remain a child, and just do whatever the hell I want to do.
As time passes by, I will have to grow up, eventually. I will need to have a way to sustain myself, alone. I will have to take up on responsibilities, and be responsible for other people for as well. But that’s okay, that’s the good parts about growing up, it makes you stronger, what I don’t want is to lose some of the good parts about being a child while I grow up, I always want to remain a child in some ways ( lol, totally sounds like a quarter-life crisis doesn’t it? )
Anyway, that’s it for the post, it does seem like things are returning back to normal slowly, and maybe this time they will stay normal lol, I hope the person reading this finds the courage to pass the time until things return back to normal, and hey, if you want to reach out to anyone, feel free to reach out!
Until the next one, Stay Safe!
